She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
