Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
