just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
