you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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