i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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