i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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