i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's blow job season.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
