in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
