thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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