ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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