maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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