flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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