idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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