someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Randomize
