Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
