Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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