I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
