I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
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she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
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Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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