come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
