I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
