it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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