I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
