I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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