her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize