a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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