Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

tell him to stop quoting family guy

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(207): View more from Maine

She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

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(818): View more from California

That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff

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(+61): View more from Australia

Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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(310): View more from California

I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix

(1-310): View more from California

So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...

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