Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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