You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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