I accidentally had phone sex last night
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
