reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Everything about him screamed your future.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
