I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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