I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
