Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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