Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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