made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What a dumb baby whore.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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