I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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