please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
