you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
