He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize