I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
