I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
