There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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