we made out on top of his cat.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize