Dual....:-)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
