Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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