She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
