i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
operation harelip BJ is a go
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
