the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
