so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
