but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
