is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
