Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
