so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize