They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
