Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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