What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
