you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
