it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
