Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
