PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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