I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
