There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
