She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
