you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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