did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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