Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
